Its has been a while since my last post. Years, if I must say. Well, to manage an anonymous blog is not an easy job. I have another blog, open to everyone close to me, but even that is not updated regularly.
This blog has been neglected for a long time. I remember the existence of this blogs, unfortunately I forgot the username and password that I used and also there are nothing much to write, until recently.
Anyhow, one might wonder why I suddenly have the urge to write in this blog.
For your information, I have been away to some place for a religious trip. This trip supposed to cleanse myself from all the sins that I do, and also to make any prayer or hope that I have.
I am a Muslim by the way. So that means I went to Makkah.
During this trip, there were 13 people. There was this guy who went with us that I got a crush.
LOL it felt so weird to declare one as my crush, openly in this post as I usually keep it to myself. However, something happened between me and this guy. All this things keep bugging my mind. And there are no instance of me doing nothing other that thinking all bout that.
No, not those bed thingy, you dirty minded people! And in my opinion, maybe I was thinking too much.
Have you ever loved someone, that make you missed him so much until it feels so much pain in your heart and longing if you did not see him for a day? And that pain become more severe when knowing that you and him can never ever be together?? Well that happened to me after the trip.
Actually, I am not liking him from the start. He got a handsome good looking face, that I can stare all day but I like his friend better previously (slut alert!). Maybe because we once shared a room together (nothing sexual) and us being a good friend for quite sometimes. But then day by days those feeling from liking his friend as more that a friends, turn back into liking him just a friend during harships. LOLs. Maybe because I feel that he is neglecting me. Anyway, I think we all get confused with this story at this moment because me myself also getting confuse. LOL.
Let's start again. I went to the religious trip with Mr G, and I said something has happened between him and me. And previously I said I also got a crush on Mr H, friend of Mr G. But now I think I have get over with Mr H. Because Mr G is taller and have a better body suiting to my taste lols. My recent crush is Mr G.
Anyway, I always love to look at Mr G whenever he present. And until months ago, I started to persistently stalked (but not too obvious, but I'm not sure if anyone noticed anything) at his butt movement. But still, I never really got the chances to know him better because we have nothing in common to talk about as he is the sport man while me myself being a nerd. LOL. Well, we used to be so close once when we both need to repeat an examination.
So, during the trip many things has happen between Mr G and me. And many signs happened that I can't help to get misinterpret. Haha
During the trip, we went to Medina first, the after about 4 days we went to Mecca. In the first place, he and I stayed in a different room. It was such a waste (for me, lols) but I don't really think too much about it. Until the 2rd day of the trip, he started to come to and sleep in our room because he said his room was too cold because the air conditioner is directly pointed to him. So, he slept in my room.
At first, he was trying his spots next to me (while talking to our other friends). So deep inside my heart I was blooming with happiness for having the thought of him to sleep beside me. But later on, he slept next to another person beside me. Hmmph! I am so jealous. I agree that I am not really a clean freak people but if anyone ask, I can be one.
Then we went to Mecca. Hah! This places brings so many happy moments to me.
I was feeling so tired from the long hours of travelling and lifting the luggage bag but all that went away when I got to know that I will be staying in the same room as him! Wooho!
Now, my first happy moment started sooner after the good news. I was about to see him being shirtless! OMG those pecs and abs. Even though it was not as defined as the model (it is still great, cause he is a sports man) but it really suited to my taste. I think I can stare at them all day and caressing them.
Oh only God knows how happy I am. But I need to control myself to not making it too obvious. I am hating myself when I forced my eyes to look another ways as trying to undercover my feelings. I think it is better to be able to be beside him than the need to be hated by him because of my shortcomings.
On the next day, another more happy moment happens, when he and I make the body contact. lots of them. LOL
to be continue...
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