Birthday

It was my mother's birthday a few days ago. I was thinking of what to give her, as only this year, I have my own salary, and I am in Malaysia, just 1 hour drive from her.

But then I can't decide. Or rather, don't have time to decide. *excuses*

Today my mother called me, asking me to have a look at her friend who was sent to the hospital that I was working. After I called her that her friend is well, and already discharge, suddenly she asked me when I will be free because she wanted to look for a new smartphone.

Now that's a good idea. But then I can't decide what phone to buy. After all it has been so long since I looked around the smartphone market.

My mother gave me a hint about her preference.

"I don't mind any phone, even the cheap one. As long as it can take and send pictures. The phone that you gave me earlier, I can accept that too".

I gave her my Iphone 3G, my first Iphone that I bought in 2008. The price at that time was RM2000 ++. I gave it to her after I have been using it for 2 years.

Does that mean she is giving hints that she wants an Iphone?? haha.

So for now, without thinking further, I think there are two choices. Iphone, or Samsung galaxy.

Of course, she had experience with Iphone, and she also had Ipad in the house. So I think there wouldn't any difficulty for her to use Iphone then. For Samsung Galaxy, well me myself is not sure where to get the apps and how to go through the applications.

Now, another problem is of course, the cost and the safety. Right I felt a bit tight to buy her an Iphone, and even if I bought it, I wonder if she can keep the phone safe.

However after a while, I did make a promise to myself a long time ago that when I grow up, I want to make my mother happy, and try to repay her for all the things that she did to me.

Sometimes I thought that if our parent willing to risk to buy expensive things to us, even though the known outcome is that thing will surely going to be missing/ destroyed. For the sake of our happiness, they don't care.

And I thought now why not if I treat them like how they treated me when I was a child? I mean I still remember there are things when I thought they wouldn't buy me (because it was expensive) but they still bought me. *Still remember though when all I wanted was PS1 but they bought me the made-in-China gamestation. -.-

So that's it. On Thursday after work, I am so going to buy the Iphone. And of course I am sure later on I will have to buy another one for my father too. haha

Hints

These few months has been a breeze with me. However with my incoming wedding, there's a lot of things to think and to do.

Last Saturday I was working as usual. Suddenly an acquaintance of mine came into my working counter, and then sat besides me. He said the computer in his ward was full, so he went to my ward.

I knew him 3 months ago, but that was when I accidentally met him while settling my accommodation at the hospital's hostel. But then we just made a small talk.

Although I do realize he was so lucky to be blessed with a tall height and clear skin. But I don't have any real crush on him. Maybe I just love to have a look at him.

So, suddenly he asked me about my bride-to-be, if she lived in the same place as his hometown.

I said yes.

Then he said, "Öh my... can't you change? Take me instead"

Ok I was quite shocked.

Was that indirectly way of flirting??

Like how on earth suddenly he proposed that I married him instead, as we just happened to live quite near. And above of all people, he said that to me?? MEEE????

OK maybe I think too much. But then I am feeling flattered. Haha.

Then we were talking about other useless things, gossiping a bit, then suddenly he talks about his brother (to the people joining the gossips), who was a MALE SUPERMODEL.

My GODDDDDDD!!!!

So he has a model blood?? Oh my.

Damn. Suddenly he looks so delicious. Or potentially being delicious. Bahahaha

I did said to him, "why did you become a doctor?? just be a model instead. I think u can be one". Hahaha

But anyway, anyway. I think there's nothing much is there. Maybe I'll just continuing to flirt with him. After all, he did touch me like friendship hugging etc. And I love it. *desperate*

He came

A few weeks ago, I got an unexpected whatsapp message from Mr G.

It has been a while. After all, there was not so much that we can talk right? We are totally opposite of each other.

Turn out, his brother going to have a graduation by the end of November, near my working place. Oh my, I haven't stalked his family much that I have been so ignorant. LOL

So, he was actually asking me the direction of the place. Well, I felt awkward because me myself had never gone to that place too hahaha. Luckily I got Mr Google to lead the way.

Anyway anyway, I did told him to message me when he arrived.

I was a bit feeling disappointed as the end of November approaching as he doesn't text me. I thought he might forget to text me, or I was not that significant to him. But then I was occupied with work so it was not bothering me much.

How wrong I was.

He texted me on Friday morning saying he has arrived, as his brother is going to graduate on Saturday. And how nice it was as I got the weekend off on Saturday. Thing has fallen so well into its proper place.

Oh my oh my. It has been so long.

As usual, I feel a bit awkward to meet him, just him and I. Because I am not a conversation continue-er. That's to say I thing I have hard time to make a conversations going on.

So I did try to invite my other ex-batch mate to go with me. But how unfortunate that every of them got things to do already.

Hmm. So that was it. I was going to meet him by myself.

I was not being flirty when arranging the meeting. But when I told him it was going to be just him and I, then he said

"Just the two of us?? So it is a date again, right??"

Oh my.

I don't know either to laugh, or to actually cry. To laugh as to take it as a joke, or to cry as I do hope we can date, get married and have babies. But then, we can't.

...

Then he said he was going to invite his siblings to go with us too. And how sweet he was to ask my permission if it was okay. Oh my. How sweet. I felt like a lady already. Haha!

Well of course it is okay my dear. You are not mine alone. :P

So there I was. I arrived at his staying place quite early. So I was just walking around the place planning to kill some time but then, I saw him walking with his family. I was trying to hid but then if I was seen as I was trying to hide, it would be so awkward. isn't it? Hahahaha.

So I just went to met with his family straight away.

He was so close with his parent. He even kissed and hugged his father and mother before went out. Well, I saw that act in one of my patient's family. They hug and kissed their parents whenever they met.

Hmm... I knew him and me can't be together because he surely won't even dare to broke his parent heart.

We were just talking about work. I think it was quite weird as I was imagining my self dating with him, with his sibling went with us. Being a good sister-in-law-wanna-be *in my mind*, of course I also need to had a conversation with his siblings.

All the while, I can't stop staring at him while was talking. Honestly, I don't really follow what he was talking about.

He is good-looking as he always be. But his hair getting lesser and lesser. Bahahahahaha XD

It was to my knowlede that he had a tough time with his work as he got extended. He need to stay in the same department for 6 months. Oh my. I am really is so lucky as everything went smoothly. Alhamdulillah

But then, I am sure he must be so excellent now.

At the end of our the meeting, he parked his car, then when his sibling went back into their room, he said to me,

Okay. Now may I send you to your car now? *cheeky smile*

And I can't stop being cheeky too to say,

Oh. I thought I was going to send you to your room? And don't you want to invite me for a cup of drinks? 

Oh my. Sluts. Haha

Before leaving, he touched me on my shoulder, asking how's work etc again.

It was okay my dear.

At the end, we parted our ways.

Hmm... I felt wanted to hug him before parting but then I am not a hug-started.

I cried literally, and in my heart in the car after that.

I felt jealous of his wife-going-to-be

Not sure if I would go all the way to his hometown to attend his wedding. Haha!

But then, I am too going to marry soon. I need to stop all this...

Eid

So how are you peeps?? Long time no see! *crow's sound*

Currently I am in the first month of the second posting. Medical posting.

Honestly, I am too grateful. My colleagues who had their written assessment, most of them need to be re-assessed. And one of my friend who entered into the previous posting two weeks after me, she got extended for two months.

OMG.

Seriously, we had it easy. Praise be to God.

So, how was I now?

Well I am so occupied with my works. Everyday if I was not oncall, I go to work at 6:30 am, going back also at 6:30 pm, the earliest. Oh my.

Things don't get better when I only got two days off for the Eid. Well not really two days off, because I was post-call on the Eid itself. I know I should've expected this when I decided to do medicine but then... I can't help to rant.

So today I am a very grumpy doctor. LOLs.

Anyhow, talking about Eid, one couldn't separate the day with the moment of being together with family. And of course, with my parent especially my mum.

I still remember I just go back to my hometown after my work finished (I think), even going full speed while I was on the highway (thank God nothing happened). Then when I arrived, I felt so touched when I was going to kiss my mother's hand, she kissed my cheek.

Mother's love.

Now I am so sad because I can't be with her longer.

And things don't get better when works are no better. Got a ex-IVDU patient who removed his branulla previously and I failed to redo the branulla.

Urgh. Tiny sclerosed vein.

I can't stop thinking why the hell la I am working this hard for others?? And maybe why the hell I should be bother to treat this fellas?

But then, that's on of the job descriptions of being a doctor. Also I felt relieved after poking him numerous time. Oh evil me. Well it was unintended. 

At least I don't have to worry about money.

I should be more grateful.

One week

It has been a week since I went into the hospital, working as a houseman.

It is true what people said about the depression and the stress that one will felt, till one can't stop thinking to quit working every other day.

Things was quite unfavourable for me because the hospital I have chosen, decided to revert using the on-call system, because of houseman inadequacy in number.

So, not only you going to work long hours, but when you are on call, you are going to be by yourself.

OMG!!

Imagine, if I was on call, suddenly a patient having dyspnea.

However, the people inside my department is quite nice. Only a few of the specialist was quite strict. My department, the Orthopaedic is to said the most relaxed department but for me, I was about to my limit.

I wonder what would I be when I went into a more hard and horror department.

I guess if you don't think about it too much, it won't affect you.

I just do not want to be extended.

But that was not the thing that I want to talk about

Yesterday, a very cute senior houseman was on call. So I was with him in the day. He is so nice.

I think he is a bit shorter than mine but that face, that smiling face, has melt my heart.

I definitely wanting to jump on him. Bahahaha *slut*

OK honestly I don't have much idea to write, also I thinks that I should use my off day as beneficial as I can other that writing rubbish. XD

So, toddles!

Dream

My dream has been so vivid in these few days. Vivid in terms of appearance and behaviour. I can see the faces clearly, and honestly, I felt like I was actually doing what I did in my dream, that made me felt tired after woke up.

Lucky that I am still unemployed.

Being the title of this post, I have one of the best dream yesterday night.

As absurd it sounds, I befriend (or accepted, not really sure) into an Korean idol group (lets laugh so loud)

I was there accepted with two of my other male friends from my highschool.

Dunno how did I getting involved with the idols but afterwards we sort of went into a trip. Like Family Outing of sort.

We were preparing to sleep on the floor.

I was gossiping chatting with my schoolmate about something on the mattress located on the floor, and then I realized we might have been too loud so I decided to stop chatting and starting to close my eyes.

At that time, I do questioned about how lucky I was to get accepted/close into an idol group. Then it struck me than my looks are below average, and so do my singing and dancing skills. It was so absurd LOLs.

I felt so inferior in addition with my weight of extra baggage. Because of that, I scooted away to sleep at the other end of the mattress because I don't want others to feel cramped.

There was a moment of blanket pulling (we were sharing the same big blanket). At that time those idols still preparing themselves to sleep.

Then one of them went to sleep, to my direction. He just went to lay on top of me.

Oh my. I thought he wanted to mess with me so I just hug him tight from the back, then prompting that idol to try to try to get out from my hug.

But suddenly he became quite shocked, moving exaggeratedly then starting to get aggressive. Suddenly I felt my body was thrown to the side, and I was having a back pain in my dream -.-

Afterwards, he moved away, leaving a space for two people next to me. Dang it!

Why did he went away??? T_T

But nevermind. After all, there are going to be another idol who was going to sleep beside me so I just smiled cheekily.

Suddenly I heard my father's voice.

It was morning. He was waking me up.

Blueghhhhh (-.-")

Blabbering

I still remember, two years ago while jogging in the dusk, with pain in leg, I said to myself to not eating a lot and promised to keep myself from regain my weight. Because it has been the trend that I'll lose weight when I was in oversea, but when I came back to my hometown, I'll gain weight.

Turn out this trend continues, now.

God I think I have gained weight like 5 kg. Ok maybe 8 kg.

I am feeling so stressful.

Because the culprit is not me, but my mother.

I don't get it why she was so obsessed in making so many food to eat?

There ALWAYS a leftover. But then, the leftover will be thrown just like that.

Such a waste. I believe if that can be converted to money, we could have been filthy and stinking rich.

But then it was not totally my mother fault. My father, don't really understand the phrase "make things easier for others". My mother made all that food for my father to eat.

So here I am declaring that to my future spouse, I shall not burden you the worries of fill my tummy. Let's together eat healthy and do exercises to get sexy body healthy.

I mean, why would people make so many side dishes when one is enough??

Now, I can't sit properly without feeling uncomfortable because well, my tummy was bulging. -.-

But worry not, because I am going to start working in 3 days time. Yeay!

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On another occasion, I have pre-ordered the Simcity 5 games. So, I am feeling so restlessness eager to wait for the release date.

Honestly, the game gets into my dream everytime I sleep. OMG.

I just hope it won't disappointing.