Longing part II

As I said in here , we will be going to Medina first, then will be moving to Mecca. And, as I told you before, my best memories with Mr G happened in Mecca.

I forgot to tell you guys. They were another moment in Medina when I felt happy and anxious.

While visiting a place, there were so many people. And by the slip of fate, I was pushed a little bit forward while he walks behind me. It was so crowded until there were no space left. We both were touching with each other, separated only by 4 layers of thin clothes, while moving slowly.

At that time, my hearts beats fast and furiously. I can felt his chest and his hip touching my backs and buttocks. Well, at that moment, I wish time will stopped. But I knew it was impossible so in my mind, I was just enjoying every moment. Maybe just stopped my step a little bit to make him put on more pressure on me. LOLs.

There was a little naughty thought in my mind that wanted to switch place. That is to say, I want to top him. But my effort doesn't work well. People keep on pushing and he keep on staying behind my back. This make me thinking, does he felt what I felt? Does he purposely doing this? But I think it is less likely. I don't want to have any hopes up. Because IMO I would be less disappointed if I got no high hopes.

Anyhow, when we arrived in Mecca, we were doing our prayer as usual. Things doesn't get more excited other than me being in the same room with him, and I was able to feast my eyes on his bare chest.

Until, when we got like only two days before returning, he and I decide to make a plan to do a religious ritual. I am trying to be anonymous so I would like to leave a little details as possible. Let just said that ritual involves people pushing each other and it would be easier if you work in two to be able to do it.

So here we are, again pushed together in a crowded places, with he and I touching each other. Like in Medina. And when we finally done the ritual, he gave his hand to me and said well done. And as for me, trying to be a cute nerd said, "Good Game". Oh what bollocks did I just said.

So there they are. My good memories. Also, while having a conversation, he said I am cute. I forgot about what I said, maybe I was pretending to be hurt because somebody don't do me a favour. It is so not me to be pretentiously immature (read: girlish-trying-to-act-cute) however in front of him, I'm doing it automatically. Still, I still remember his smiles while saying that that I am cute. Haha.

Oh God. I still couldn't understand why I was created like this. And my current state (being a man), it would utterly impossible for me to have him. I sometimes wish that I am a girl, so at least there is a chance of us being together.