Dad's problems

It's ironic that I just ranting about my father, then today, he did something which  I hate.

He called me today, asking for my desktop password. The reason? He wanted to test my internet speed.

Seriously, why don't you just live quietly? Why bother me???

Why are you so obsessed with fast internet? Why you would EVER, NEED it?? You don't trust me when I said the internet is ok? Well you never really trust me in anything anyway.

And, there's the old laptop at the back room. Use that. When I told you the internet is fine, no matter if it was the wireless or the cable, believe in me, will you??

But you don't.

FYI, the password is there for a reason. YOU.

But being the kind me, I just gave it.

Thinking back, there are two reasons for me to be so mad

First, my father don't believe my words.

I told him countless time that the internet is ok. Why it is so hard for that to get into you head?? He even makes the effort asking his friend to come to the house to check the internet. Godddddddd!!

Second, the breach of my privacy. I still remember when I was in high school, he opened my letter without my permission.

Now, I am afraid he would discover my gay porn surf history, and the porn collections.

I want to rage but unfortunately I am unemployed so I still need his money. So I just need to be patient in the meantime.

Thirdly (I said two but what the heck), my father starting to surf porn.

I know that well, everybody surf porn. But I can't accept when my father did it. Because he is one of those people with the holier-that-thou attitude. He leads the prayer in the local mosque.

And I still remember when I was 9 years old, I wear "songkok" to the school. My father then said songkok is only for the good people. I don't deserve to wear it.

That really, broke my confidence.

And now that tok imam (local religious leader) is surfing for porn. Shame on you!!

Now I understand why my brother lived in Kuala Lumpur for one months after he went back from oversea. It is too annoying to live with my parent.

For now, if my father discover my porns, I guess maybe that would be the best. We would have a very long discussion. So be it. I hope I don't scream during the discussion. Or run away.

I am thinking now places that I will be gone if I want to run away.

My family is so... I don't know... damaged?? Uncommunicative? Action speaks louder that words??

Tomorrow I will be going back to my hometown. We'll see what would happen.