Homosexuality

I just figuratively becoming the spoke-person for gay people. But only to my family hahahaha.

No, I still haven't came out (maybe never). It is just recently the internet in my family and friends network was roared with the guidelines from the Ministry of Education about the gay and lesbian guidelines.

About how to detect gay and lesbian. To see the character if it was in their children then do the corrective measure. Seriously? -.-

So it all began when my cousin (W, mentioned in previous post) tweets, saying:

I don't believe when gay people said they are born this way. I thinks it is their choice. It is optional

So I replied the tweet by saying, why would a person choose a road that is difficult, and not what people would regard as "normal"?? unless if he/she was born this way??

The suddenly out of sudden my brother and his wife also replied the tweet. I am quite afraid that my identity will be discovered.

I, of course, of all people understand very well the feeling.

And, now I get it when the gay people said, "the masses don't 'get it'"

Seriously I am so tired rebutting to my own family. They always have the idea that it all due to the peer influence, bad parenting, external factors etc.

And my heart beats so fast cause I am afraid they would noticed something is not right. But luckily they don't, yet.

They don't believe that people can have the feeling wired to the brain. Or that hormonal exposure during the pregnancy can altered one orientation. They keep on saying it all due to the wrong education and earlier years of nurturing.

I was just about to tell them that how come that was possible because I was in the Islamic kindergarten, I don't even know the word gay until I am 11 years old and stumble upon it when I search the internet for "nude man", yet I always fond to the male friend, don't notice the female (nor wanting to get know them) and whenever the advertisement showed men with six-pack, I got an erection??

Also the funny scenario when I rub a girl's hand because she blamed me for making it dirty, yet I don't feel a thing yet everybody made a gossip about it.

But of course that was like taking a ticket to suffering. I mean the most possible scenario if I came out to my parent would be they will send me to the motivational religious camp. Really. They are so conservative that sometimes I do hate them. I mean they don't allow me to have long hairs!! I seriously look weird in my curly wavy hair

But to my brother and his wife, I am not sure. They seems open-minded, but I guess I don't really trust them, yet.

During the discussion, I have the feeling to just let it go because I hate conflict and of course not to breach my undercover but then I need to try to explain to them as clear as I can.

Because honestly I do feel pity to those gay who succumb to their desire and live a rotten live. I once joked to my gay friend that I want to make an association to guard the well-being of gay. Me as the president while he being my vice (power crazy much?)

In conclusion, I am happy that I was able to change their mind maybe a little bit, saying this could be a inborn error, a test from the God and encourage the government, the religious scholar and the physician to do more research in this topic.

May Allah bless us all. Allah knows better