Random

Since the moment I realized that Mr G is way taller than me, my confidence has broken into pieces.

I am so self conscious.

Maybe because I think he is out of my league.

Or maybe because I want to be like him.

When I read yaoi manga, it always feature the top as manly, while the bottom being cute. I mean, because the bottom being cute, the top can't denied the feeling.

It can't be wrong when someone loves pretty things.

And as I read it somewhere, when a man fell into a effeminate guy, he was being straight.

However, from my observation, there are two types of effeminate guy. The pretty one, and the ugly one.

So I thought, maybe I can "charm" a man to fall into me. There is hope after all. Heh.

Sometimes, I imagine me acting all cute to Mr G. Maybe he would fall with me.

But even in my own imagination, that was a horrible sight, as I looked into the mirror -.-

I am the ugly one. But I am no longer effeminate. I think. Haha.

I don't have the slightest feature, that one can call, as cute.

But...

I have been receive mixed signals.

I mean there was a moment while Mr G and I was eating together, Mr G was signaling to me to feed him.

And the moment when we were walking in a group, suddenly he hint me to hold his hand.

But during both of the occasion, when I was actually wanting to do it, Mr G resist. T_T

And things will no be moving anywhere as I am already attached. With a woman.

Talking about being attached, yesterday I dreamed of having sex with a woman.

Surprise! Surprise!

In that dream the woman complimented my junk but suddenly I though that it's my dream, so I was actually complimenting myself?? OMG so sick. Eh Too much information

So maybe I am bisexual. So that means I can definitely live a double lives. Yeay!!

Anyhow...

I am feeling better now.

Because I was staying in Kuala Lumpur for a while before going back to my hometown.

And I realize they are many people who shorter than me. Good looking, but short.

Haha. Talking about being kiasu.

I think the God is fair.

I realized a lot of good looking guy, is short. Like Mr H.

So, right now, I think I won't really envy anybody as I think they would have defect somewhere.

And the most interesting things was, if their defect is not apparent, so they must have some defect in the inside. Muahahaha *evil laugh*

Now, isn't it interesting to think about what would the defect would be?? small penis, hernia, hemorrhoids,  hairy birth marks, scar, impotence, one testis apparently larger that another one etc