Plot

"I am feeling so stressful nowadays. A lot of things happened since I was back from studying oversea. I now knew that my family got many problems. My family is so complicated."

"Really? Well I have my own family problems too. I guess everyone does have them. So do you need to talk about it with me? I mean maybe there's nothing I could help, but I am sure at least that will make you felt better".

"Well, my brother has a secret relationship with his girlfriend, unknown to my mother. But mother thought  both of them has broke up. My brother didn't even once came back to the hometown for one year with the excuse of work, but he did once came back, just for the sake of taking his passport, to go to visit his girl friend.

So I have this sort of dilemma of to tell, or not to tell. And honestly, I am feeling sick listening to my mother's rants."

"Hmm.. What kind of person was your brother? You need to tell your brother that we need to be good to our mother. After all, she was the one that cares for him in all these years. We only have one mother too"

"True. But there's another problem. We don't really talk in a great length about any issues in this family."

"Errm. OK"

"And there was also my another last big problem..."

"What is it?"

 "I think am gay, and unfortunately, I have fallen for you"

*********************************************

The above conversation happened (with a bit alteration), except that part that I came out and confessed to him.

I have read about a gay couple story in the web. It is a real person (I guess, they posted photos some more). When I read about their story, he (the bottom) said at first he was just another friend to his top. He don't have any real feeling to the top but then, they were a good friend. The bottom said he even coming out to the top. But that ends there.

The top even got a girlfriend back then.

Then, one day, the top broke up with his girlfriend.

Days after that, the bottom and top hang out together, maybe having some alcohol, then they stopped their car in a secluded place.

That was the first time they both having the intercourse.

Now, they are a happy married gay couple.

I somehow wished my life could be like that.

But I am sure all my crush(es) quite conservative, and we don't drink alcohol so it is quite difficult as alcohols lowers one inhibition. And I can't risked being labelled as freak and to have them, distancing themselves from me.

During the talk with my bestfriend, he said a lot of these people quite confused about their orientation, and might need some "external force" to make them to come out. I am quite astonished that my bestfriend can have one on one conversation with his roomate, and to ask face to face asking his roomate if his roomate is gay. Haha.

But then, even if they finally came out, there are going to be a big family pressure to these people to go back to the so said "normal lifestyle"

That's why I need to find a cute and handsome orphan. Bahahahaha